This Week’s Cliffhanger
“Trump is our dream come true,” thought the paranoid conspiracy theory populists, “because he will put an end to all these overseas military engagements and expose the globalist military-industrial complex.”
“Trump is our dream come true,” thought the pragmatic neo-conservative World-War-III-mongers, “because in his ineptitude and ignorance, he will beg us for advice at just those moments when we are most eager to provide it.”
So here we are. Both sides, in a sense, were right, and both were also wrong.
The paranoid populists got their dream come true on North Korea — until reality kicked in, and they were faced with the inconvenient truth that the outside world really does exist after all, i.e., that it isn’t all a “matrix” that can be turned off by a brave hero who dares to flick the switch.
The pragmatic neo-cons, just yesterday, thought they were tripping merrily into their happy place, namely a Middle East war zone (though of course they personally would only be there from behind a comfy desk in Washington) — until reality kicked in, and they had to face the harsh truth that even a court jester president must be granted the official authority to make the final decision, and Trump’s ineptitude and ignorance have bred a significant layer of raw cowardice in the face of the kind of real world danger he knows all too well he is incompetent to negotiate.
And so it is that Donald Trump has approved a military strike against Iran, in retaliation for Iran’s having shot down a U.S. drone, and then balked and canceled the party on squeamishness grounds, even as the operation was already underway.
Welcome to the wacky world of The Reality TV President, folks. Join us next week, when we might learn the answers to these exciting questions:
How many times did John Bolton, the most cowardly backseat-bomber bureaucrat ever to be sold as a no-nonsense military leader, scream the f-word when Trump put the kibosh on his beloved war with Iran even while he was texting all his “New American Century” pals to brag about how they were getting their wish at last?
Will Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin and the rest of the Trump media establishment ever get over the kinks in their necks caused by jerking themselves this way and that in their efforts to pretend they are always ahead of the curve on their fake-news-master’s ever-shifting positions of the moment?
Is the “new, stronger than ever” U.S. military truly sanguine about dangling indefinitely on the strings of a commander-in-chief who thinks their mission and their blood are merely baubles he can bandy about at rallies to impress his chanting monkeys? Do they really wear those uniforms merely for the chance to take a selfie with a world famous celebrity?
Did Secretary of State Mike Pompeo get the burger order right this time?
