“This town isn’t small enough for the both of us!”

Either uncooperative John Bolton has been fired by big tough man Donald Trump — or big tough Johnny Bolton has submitted his resignation to wimpy little Donald Trump. It all depends which of them tweeted last. 

Well, I guess this is part of Trump’s recent “woman scorned” routine against Fox News, which is where he found Bolton during that beautiful, star-crossed summer of their love.

Or Bolton finally realized that it doesn’t matter how meekly you consent to pick up his dirty socks and massage his feet on live television, some men just never learn to appreciate the most loyal woman in their lives.

Or perhaps it’s door number three: Two pathetic, climbing, publicity-hound blowhards and fake tough guys, each of whom was using the other for petty personal gain, finally came to the inevitable conclusion that this town wasn’t small enough for the both of them.

Unlike all the actual statesmen — good, bad, or indifferent — who have come to loggerheads with the twelve-year-old girl president and lost their jobs, Bolton, true to form, promises that he’ll have his say about all this eventually. Because, of course, that’s what a decent man who really cares about serving his country would do!

Two pea-brains in a pod. Unfortunately, it is neither of them, but rather the nation they have chosen to use as the soundstage for their own respective reality TV shows, that is going to rot in hell in this situation.

We already know that today’s winner, Mike Pompeo, who has played the bootlicker role with more humility than Bolton, is not long for this world either, since Trump’s one true love, Kim Jong Un, doesn’t like him.

“Governing like Reagan!” “He’s been better than I expected!” “At least he’s not Hillary.” “But you have to vote for somebody.” “Well, it’s Trump or the socialists.” “Um, er, uh…as I recall, the first season of The Apprentice was pretty good….”