North Korea Dismantling Nukes!!! (in a language in which “dismantling nukes” translates as “Trump cultists are morons”)

Two days ago, there were reports that North Korea has begun dismantling a rocket testing site they had pledged to destroy during Kim Jong-un’s International Respectability Coming Out Party Guest Starring Donald “Big Button” Trump. Rational observers, who do not live for evidence that Trump is the Second Coming — or rather that Jesus Christ was the placeholder for Trump — know that months before the Singapore summit, Kim had declared the testing phase of his country’s nuclear weapons development program complete, and asserted that testing was therefore no longer necessary, i.e., that testing sites like the one currently being dismantled were no longer useful.

But for the cultists, who never let an opportunity to make fools of themselves go to waste, this story of Kim dismantling a defunct testing site — which he promised to do in Singapore presumably because it was a defunct site — is yet another chance to ring dem bells. Hence Monica Showalter, an editor at American Thinker, dutifully wrote a blog post entitled, “So the great Singapore summit ‘nothingburger’…has led to North Korea quietly dismantling its arsenal.”

Dismantling its arsenal! That’s quite a claim. So she has evidence that the North Koreans have begun to destroy missiles, hand over nuclear materials, and the like?

Well, no, not exactly that. Actually, not even approximately that. In fact, not even anything remotely related to that. But if you’re an ardent enough worshipper, everything looks like a Sign, so you tend to get a little ahead of yourself: “Just call him super-statesman, peaceniks,” Showalter concludes, with a gushing school-girlishness that would be embarrassing to witness were the sentiment not shared by millions of other biological adults, many of them married men.

And then there is today’s news, from Reuters:

North Korea is continuing to produce fuel for nuclear bombs in spite of its pledge to denuclearize, U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said on Wednesday, even as he argued that the Trump administration was making progress in talks with Pyongyang.

Asked at a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing whether North Korea was still making bomb fuel, Pompeo responded to Democratic Senator Ed Markey by saying: “Yes, that’s correct … Yes, they continue to produce fissile material.”

Pompeo declined to respond when asked whether North Korea was continuing to pursue submarine-launched ballistic missiles or whether its nuclear program was advancing generally.

He said he would be happy to answer the latter question if necessary in a classified setting, but suggested public statements on the issue would not help “a complex negotiation with a difficult adversary.”

Sounds a little different from Showalter’s idolatrous visions of sugar-plums from the day before, doesn’t it? I’m not worried about her, or any of the rest of the cultists, as I’m sure none of this more realistic reporting can crack through a shell that hard, so they will all sleep peacefully, secure in their fantasy world of Trump’s super-statesmanship. Not to worry, they tell themselves: North Korea is dismantling its nuclear arsenal, Vladimir Putin is a great ally in the fight to save Christianity and traditional values, Trump is winning the trade war that isn’t happening, bailouts are a great example of the kind of business sense that only a billionaire can understand, and Hillary isn’t president. God is in his heaven, bathed in orange light.

Those of us stuck in the real world will just have to get over our little hang-ups — such as truth, principles, literacy, decency, freedom, and independent thought. That’s all so 1980s, you know. Let it go.

“This is all we have left after the dismantling, Dear Leader.” “Okay, I’ll ask The Great and Mighty Super-Statesman whether he wants us to dismantle this too.”

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