What is a Scaramucci?

In a desperate, albeit superfluous, attempt to secure his legacy as the dumbest U.S. President of all time, Donald Trump has appointed as his communications director something called “Scaramucci,” a (sort-of) man with the communication skills of Joe Pesci (from Goodfellas, not My Cousin Vinny), the ethics of Rahm Emanuel, and the personal charm of a sewer rat.

Combining all the humanity of London’s Great Ormond Street Hospital with the political sensibility of a viper on cocaine, this strange object is apparently tasked with repeating and/or anticipating Trump’s tweets trashing his own cabinet members, but with the added luxury of using language that Trump, as president, is forced to reserve for reality TV moments where he can later claim he didn’t know about the “hot mic” (although of course the “hot mic” is the whole purpose of reality TV, which Trump, as a long-time reality TV performer — i.e., professional fraud — knows perfectly well).

Although I have no wish to give extra exposure to ugliness that has found plenty of other ways of exposing itself, here’s a video in which some garden-variety rats (i.e., mainstream media “experts”) discuss Scaramucci’s expletive-filled rant about Reince Priebus, Steve Bannon, and his desire to “kill leakers”:

As for the bit about Bannon referenced in the above account, the only rational response, and easily the best commentary I’ve seen on the matter so far, comes from Bill Kristol:

Okay, so Scaramucci is a classless moron, and a mercenary sycophant and hitman for a megalomaniacal court jester with emperor delusions. But beyond that, what’s wrong with him?

Let’s see

He is — like his current boss — a classic “New York values” progressive, and has been for years. A vocal advocate of gun control, “gay rights,” and climate change regulations, he was an active supporter of the presidential campaigns of both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, and said before the 2016 election that he hoped Clinton would win.

New World Order alert! Scaramucci began his business career with several years at — gulp — Goldman Sachs!! He is also a member of the World Economic Forum and — wait for it! — the Council on Foreign Relations.

Swamp alert! During the Republican primaries, Scaramucci supported establishment up-and-comer Scott Walker, and then establishment-old-hand Jeb Bush. In other words, like his current boss, his political career has been consistent only in his unwavering, lifelong alliance with the bipartisan Washington insiders club, and his hatred of constitutional conservatives and their preferred representatives.

In the year leading up to Trump’s election, Scaramucci called the Orange McConnell a “hack politician” and denounced the GOP’s turn to “unbridled demagoguery” — reminding us that even a broken clock is right twice a day — although he now sells himself as a loyal soldier for Trump and his agenda.

And yes, if ever “sells himself” were the right phrase to describe a person’s maneuverings, Scaramucci would appear to be that person. How amusing, then, that he once “wrote a book” subtitled, How to Find Your Fortune Without Losing Your Soul.

I guess the secret is now revealed: You can’t lose what you never had.

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