Bubble Reveals All She Knows

I see that Madeleine Westerhout, an overgrown college party girl and gossipmonger — who, naturally, was one of Donald Trump’s brilliant “best people” until she humiliated him by flirting…er, I mean “speaking” about the Trump family off the record, with anti-Trump journalists — has, to apply a noble term loosely, “written a book.” Specifically, she has tried to save her political career by flattering her way back into her old boss’s good graces. 

How does she explain the indiscretion that got her canned last August? I don’t know, and I care even less than I know. But just to be on the record (cute, eh?) about this momentous event in publishing and/or groveling history, I reproduce below everything I had to say about the dimwit last year, from a Limbo post of September 2nd, 2019.

Trump’s personal assistant, a twenty-eight-year-old party girl — Reince Priebus’s party, that is — went out drinking with reporters, and lo and behold, she got a little drunk, whereupon she bragged and blabbed to said reporters about personal matters related to the Trump family. For this indiscretion, which she claims, pathetically, was supposed to be “off the record,” she has been dismissed from her White House position.

Naturally, the first thought on most people’s minds was probably the obvious, “What kind of idiot, working as a personal assistant to the president of the United States, goes drinking with people whose line of work entails spending every day of their lives digging for dirt on that president?” (Answer: The kind of idiot who gets hired by the kind of president who would accept the recommended assistant of the GOP establishment weasel who helped that president secure the party’s presidential nomination in exchange for a cushy cabinet appointment.)

My first thought, however, was a little different, since I already take it for granted that anyone working in this administration is a classless, soulless, unprincipled, sell-my-mother-for-material-gain bootlicker. For me, this story is just another amusing reminder of the real meaning of alcohol in today’s “advanced world.”

This drug is so necessary and essential to the comfort and sense of self-worth of most people today — from every stratum of society, in every age bracket, and at all levels of education and career achievement — that they would literally jeopardize their careers, compromise their nation’s leaders, and violate the trust and privacy of their employers, merely for another meaningless opportunity to pretend, over drinks, that they enjoy the company of people they neither know nor care to know, i.e., merely for the sake of holding onto a few “drinking friends” to keep themselves from looking (to the world and to themselves) like what they really are, and what most “recreational drinkers” actually are, in the final analysis: lonely drunks, regardless of how many fellow human shells they try to surround themselves with for cover. Hence the need to “loosen up,” to “join the party,” to “grease the social wheels.” All of these are euphemisms for pretending you have friends when you really don’t, or rather for pretending the humans sitting around the table are your friends, when in fact everyone’s only real friend present is the bottle or pitcher sitting on that table.

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