Tagged: Trump

Kim Visits China to Report on How He Snookered the Orange Idiot

Kim Jong-un, fresh off his complete submission before the strategic, economic, and military might of…Xi Jinping, has arrived in China to “brief” Xi’s Communist Party inner circle about how he successfully manipulated the United States government into granting all of China’s wishes while somehow persuading themselves that this was a Make-America-Great-Again kind of victory. As Reuters reports: China has been particularly pleased by...

Multiculti America, Trump Style

Trump created his cult mainly by blustering that he was all for Americans citizens and would protect them from the onslaught of illegal immigrants. Now he gets the same cult cheering by promising to make more of those illegal immigrants into U.S. citizens than even the Democrats wanted, insisting these Mexicans are necessary to fill all the amazing jobs he’s creating. You have...

The Kim-Trump Summit: “Say Kimchi!”

So Kim Jong Un, The Baby-Faced Assassin, now supposedly wants to engage in direct denuclearization talks with Donald J. Trump, The Asinine Baby. To make sure Kim gets what he wants out of this — legitimization — and that Trump gets what he wants out of everything — attention — why not do this as a pay-per-view event? Let all the world see...

Loving Trump, warts and…well, warts

For two years, one alleged conservative after another has disappeared from American society and been replaced with a pod replica prepared to make or accept endless excuses for a laughably wee man who comes with more baggage than a Samsonite warehouse. How often have we heard this one: “I’m so worried about America’s future that I have no choice but to support Trump.”...

A Real Chess Master Assesses a Fake One

Donald Trump’s White House has simply refused to impose sanctions voted for by veto-proof majorities of the House and Senate — sanctions, not surprisingly, against Russia. Sanctions related to the Putin regime’s active interference in the 2016 Presidential Election, among other thuggeries. Why doesn’t this even seem peculiar? Trump’s groupies are hell-bent on persuading themselves — we’re way past the stage when they...

The Great Negotiator

Those watching Trump’s sudden and complete cave to the Democrats on amnesty for illegal immigrants might be wondering if this indicates that Trump is a somewhat less brilliant negotiator than his admirers claim. Not necessarily — for the quality of a negotiator’s maneuvers is determined not by what you thought he was aiming at, but by what he was really aiming at. First,...

Feeling Hosed Yet, Trumpsters? (Don’t bother, I know the answer)

Donald Trump, who built an entire campaign and personal cult out of (sort of) promising to build a thirty-foot-high border wall that Mexico would (sort of) pay for, while in the process (sort of) sending illegal immigrants out of the country, is now sounding a little softer on immigration than “Little Marco.” A few days ago, an official Trump spokesman was out on...

Trump Espouses Chamberlainism

“The White House confirmed” — the building itself does the talking nowadays, since none of the occupants can string a grammatical sentence together — “the weapons cutoff would happen.” Yet again, Donald Trump reveals for all the world (a) his fawning admiration of Islamist strongman Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, (b) his Neville Chamberlain underwear, and of course (c) that he’s a moron. From the...

Dr. McConnell and Mr. Trump Part VI: The Press Conference

Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell, falsifying my Jekyll and Hyde hypothesis that they are actually the same person, have appeared together at a press conference, where they reassured everyone…that they are actually the same person. I understand your doubts: McConnell is a mealy-mouthed, vowel-swallowing, conniving turtle, whereas Trump is a crude, thought-disintegrating, pinwheel-hat-level vulgarian. Ergo, Jekyll and Hyde. So when it’s time for...