Tagged: Michael Cohen

Squealers and Dealers (Updated: Trump Redefines Slime for the Ages)

Michael Cohen, longtime friend and legal fixer for the world’s most famous slime ball, has testified before the House of Representatives that his former boss was — shockingly — a slime ball.  The Trump cult’s defense of their slime ball against Cohen’s testimony — and I include a lot of elected Republicans among the cultists at this point — is that Cohen is...

NO COLLUSION! (Okay, some…but hardly any!)

Rudy Giuliani, America’s first beloved national hero to reduce himself to a sniveling worm on national television, seems not to be able to open his mouth these days without sticking both of his own feet and at least a few other people’s into it. This predicament is not surprising, really, seeing as how he is both Trump’s official spokesliar and chief bootlicker. In...

Trump’s OJ-Style Confession

Addressing the plea deal declaration by his longtime legal fixer, Michael Cohen, that the hush money payments he arranged for Trump’s random sex partners were made at Trump’s personal direction, Donald Trump has sent out his personal legal representative du jour, Rudy “I’ll-do-anything-to-stay-relevant” Giuliani, to call Cohen a liar, and claim, absurdly, that Cohen’s earlier statements covering for Trump, while he was Trump’s...

Conservative Creepy

Creepy lawyer Michael Cohen signs a plea deal in which he pronounces himself guilty of federal crimes, and implicates Donald Trump in those crimes by declaring that he committed some of them at “the candidate’s” direction, for the express purpose of influencing an election campaign. Mark Levin, a lawyer, along with a radio guest who is also a lawyer, buck each other and...

Survey of the Major News of the Day

Ben Affleck, an actor of no consequence (assuming that isn’t a redundancy), has split up with his girlfriend of one year, citing irreconcilable distances. According to one “source,” “They tried to make it work.” Man, I’m bummed. I thought this one was forever. Anyone remember Good Will Hunting, the most childishly pretentious movie about emotional repression since Ordinary People? It was co-written, I...

Trump’s Defense: “Cohen has been lying for me for years, so you can’t trust him.”

Russian collusion investigation headline: “‘Kettle is black,’ Pot claims.” Reality TV president Donald Trump, faced with the awkward revelation, or allegation depending on your point of view, that he was fully informed at the time (2016) that high-ranking members of his campaign (including his son) were meeting with a woman they all believed was an operative of Vladimir Putin’s government, for the express...